SPACE…..

What in the world is going on?

Why does it feel like nothing is working out? It’s like, no matter how much effort I put into things, they never turn out the way I expect. I’m trying—really trying—but it always feels like my best isn’t enough. What more can I possibly do that I haven’t already tried? I keep putting in my all, but it’s not giving me the results I want.

Everything feels off. My personal life is all over the place, and while my academics aren’t terrible, they’re not where I want them to be.

What am I missing?

I thought I was okay, but I’m not. It feels like I’m standing still while life moves past me. I’ve tried to be strong, I’m still trying but I’m tired. Tired of everything. Tired of this environment.

I recently blocked someone I thought was kind and responsible, but they proved me wrong. Then, I saw some grades that made me feel like I didn’t do my best. They weren’t bad, but they’re not helping me get closer to my goals—they’re just pushing me further away.

When you open up to people, they say things like, “Your grades don’t define you.” But when it comes to academics, that’s exactly what people judge you on. And when they say, “Don’t let people’s opinions get to you,” It’s easier said than done. I’m trying, but it’s hard.

That said, I’ve met a few people who genuinely care, and I’m grateful for them.

As for the person I blocked, part of me wants to resolve things—not to rekindle any relationship, but to make sure there’s no misunderstanding. It’s frustrating because it feels like they’re playing the victim when, in truth, I’m the one who’s hurt.

Anywayssss, I’ve been writing this for two days now. Let’s see how things go from here.